People often underestimate the psychological impact of life's horrors.
By Danell Swim
February 10, 2008Childbirth is regarded as the most painful episode of a woman’s life, but also the most joyful. When women speak of a traumatic birth experience, most assume it to be an extremely painful event, or that something necessitated an emergency situation. For some, that is all the traumatic event is; 12 hours of tortuous labor with a supportive person by their side. Or a drop in the baby’s heart rate that sends everyone scrambling to get him out before he’s harmed. But for some, the traumatic event goes much deeper.
Sometimes women are held down while pleading to be let go; having vaginal exams forced on them; and their waters broken without giving consent. Some women call this Birth Rape, because it can be such a violent act that centers on their genitals, without their permission. The term is shocking, and upon hearing the stories of these women who have been assaulted, it is accurate.
We know from psychologists that most rapists do it not for sexual gratification, but for power. It may be the same for these care providers, who are so unfit to be working with vulnerable, emotional, feeling human beings.EK in CT told me of her painful experience:
My doctor told me that I he had to check my cervix, but he was in a hurry and “couldn’t wait” for my contraction to end. I was on Pitocin and the contractions just went on and on. So he forced his hand inside me after I screamed for him to stop, without using any lubrication. He told me “you’re only dilated to 5cm, don’t be such a baby” and left the room.
Unlike a painful childbirth, or a situation where there is a medical emergency, these Birth Rapes are perpetrated by an individual, or several individuals. It is not medically necessary, and yet the act is horrific, and leaves emotional and sometimes physical scars.
Pam recounts the traumatic cesarean birth that still haunts her:
Seven years ago I was scared into an induction. I was held down and told I had to let the doctor break my water. I was told it was my fault my cervix was swelling. I was butchered open, 9″ wide, and left with a gaping wound. I suffered complications and had additional surgeries. It scared me forever. A scar that extends deep within my soul. I had terrible PPD and PTSD. The flashbacks were consuming and wrecked my family’s life.
Like rape victims, women who are victimized during birth are made to feel responsible for the act itself. They are told that it has to be this way, or that their baby will die if it isn’t done this way. Sometimes, they aren’t even given the opportunity to say no, as they are (like Pam) held down against their will. Later, they are told that they were bad, and it had to be done. Coercion is a tactic that many assailants use.
The result of these experiences can be life-long. These traumatic birthing experiences bring about more cases of post-partum depression (PPD), and sometimes even post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Some women choose to not have more children, while others just live with the lie and pretend that everything is fine.
LC says:
The birth rape at the end of my second pregnancy is still always on my mind and the post traumatic stress still remains. Sure, I go throughout my day, functioning, smiling, but in my head I’m a mess. Everyone thinks I’m fine because I look fine and I got my healthy baby and I’m alive.
Some women refuse to see healthcare workers again, neglecting their own health and that of their children.
AM wrote to me about her post-partum period:
For 2 years after my son was born, I refused to take him to the doctor, or go to one myself. Even driving by the doctor’s office where I knew my old doctor worked was enough to make me sick. I identified with women who turned away from medicine for holistic treatment, but it wasn’t because I believed in it, it was because I wanted to believe in it. Because I was too scared to do anything else.
The treatment these women received was enough to make them suffer to their very core, and do irreparable damage to their psyche. And yet the doctors who committed the act still practice, and the cycle continues.
Upon graduating from medical school, young doctors take an oath to protect their patients, and treat them with respect. In order to practice in this country, they are pledged to gain informed consent from their patients before providing treatment. Despite these oaths, they are causing such harm to women who deserve their utmost admiration and kindness.This is why women choose to call it Birth Rape. Yes, it is used to shock. It is used to bring attention to something that is so significant, and yet never talked about.
It is Birth Rape, and it happens every day.
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